When life gets you down on your knees, which is the best way up? I have tried many a time, to ask myself the same? But more often than not, the next day arrives in a huff and puff. And my question is left in the lurch-alone, to fend for itself. A lot of things are happening here. Salary hikes, new dreams, new ways of looking at life.
It has been sometime now that Anand has come to Delhi. His habit of doping hasn’t left him yet. Or, should I say it is the other way round. Once, we had mutually decided that there was nothing wrong in doping. We thought it gave us a different vantage point, to stand back and look at life slightly differently.
But life gives you other vantage points as well. Some are good, while some are even better.
I have tried telling him that, also the difference between right and wrong. But in the process I perhaps lost a friend. Now, what is more important-friendship or belief?
I have learnt one thing over the years. At the end of the day, you have to fend for yourself. Over time, I have been let down by friends, not because I needed them, but because I stood by them. I fought against my parents, fought against sane judgement, all the while thinking that my friends need me. But whether it’s Anand or Dukh (pun intended, in case you missed it), everyone cold-shouldered me, once his or her job was done.
So, nowadays I don’t think about feelings that much, until and unless people come very close to me. For instance, when I look at new apartments in Delhi, thinking how it would have been if I had one, I always think about whether Crazy (my lovely Labrador), would be comfortable in it or not. I think about my parents, I think about Neha. And sometimes, I think about friends too…sigh…
You see, I am not a saint. But if people can sin, I might as well have a few of my own and be happy, rather than counting the insults and be sad. Anand says that I have changed. Well Anand, welcome to a whole new brand of friendship-in hindsight, your brand of friendship.
