SEX

Sex is one of the most exhilarating and powerful emotions that can be experienced in one’s lifetime.
Sex is sacred too.
Sex is medicine.
Sex is immortality captured in a moment.

clauses....

Sometimes I feel that I have lost confidence in myself. I try clinging on to people. Thinking that they would be there always. But is it right being dependent on someone or something so strongly? I wonder because it sometimes makes me feel weak. Very weak.

Relationships are important. They help you to get stability into your life. The time and parts of life spent with people make you feel wanted and comfortable. There are times when you need people for support and vice versa.

But somehow I am not being able to get the same confidence I earlier had. Because earlier I was too innocent to be practical. Too reckless to think about the clauses of loving someone.

One should be careful not to lose focus on what one feels. Getting lost in the labyrinth of emotions is like losing footing on the edge of a rock face.

Life should be like a flowing stream. Clear, spirited and bubbly. The current should carry the autumn leaves that fall on the water. Emotions should be like sunrays crisscrossing on the tiny clear waves.

Relationships are not bad. Its just that one should be able to read between the lines.

paint on the face

The pain thudded into my heart like a sharpened meteor. Before the clouds of dust could clear, another one slammed into my chest. Heartbeats have become a pain nowadays.

Sometimes I write on my blog, wanting to write like I used to. The leaves have not sprouted in a long time. Their greenness has turned yellowish brown.

People change colour everyday. Sometimes the change is so imperceptible that you can pass it off as mood swing. But if you can manage to look a little deeper into the murky water you would able to see the silhouettes of pebbles on the riverbed. It reminds me of a place known as Haridwar in North India.

I was lucky to be able to be in that place for 2-3 days. There were people around. Their presence had mattered to me then. But at this moment, my feelings toward them are not the same. Strangely with time, as the days passed by busily, I changed. They changed. So you see, I have actually changed colour.

When I look around me I see people. Colourful people. I see them changing colours. The most important action a person should perform each day is to look at himself in the mirror and see the colour change.

If someday he discovers that the changing has stopped, that day he would become a hero. He would be free.

love and cigarettes

The nights used to be hazy with cigarette smoke. The days seemed confused and too short.

When we move fast through life we fail to look at beautiful moments tip toeing through the alleys of our mind.

Things are changing. Things should change. There are only a few things, which should remain constant. Things, which help us to sustain our life. Like love.

I am not suffering from that dreadful smoker’s cough anymore.

This should remain constant.

Sometimes,someone helps you to dream.

Dreams should remain constant.

Different?

Feels nice to be able to write again. It has been a hectic few days. The emotions that run deep into my veins never let me have a peaceful night, like you have. Some people are different they say. But they don’t mention the degree or the parameters of segregation.

There are things to be done. If I had been granted a wish I would opt for freedom.

Freedom from what? Well, that is a secret. Call me some time and I will tell you. Some say that writing is a trivial way of communication.

Guess I will stop writing someday.

It's raining at TSJ.

17.09,2nd September,2006. Neha is sitting beside me. So is Atul and Tulika. Thomas is looking a bit sad. I can hear Enakshi's voice in the background.

It's over. It's raining. My stint at Times School of Journalism will finally come to an end within an hour or so.

I remember the first day when I came to Daryaganj. The sights and sounds are strongly embedded in my brain.

In these six months I have been hated and hated back. Loved and not loved back. No regrets though. Carrying in my rucksack a bouquet of minor experiences that will perhaps make me thoughtful sometime in the future.

Manish just said,"Any other guess." When Chandana asked about the missing mousepad.

Angshu her usual gossipy self had said that I was responsible.

Love answered in defence.

Love is sweet and Love loves me.

I am my usual self. Sultry, pokerfaced and angry.

But inside I am happy that Love is with me.

She is smiling now, her giggles of fascination never fail to fascinate me.

I am carrying love away from here. With me. To eternity.

Maybe I will fall on the way.(Love said,"Again doubt" and she says she is sad but Love is innocent)

Thank you God.